Vienna (retrospect): the pros and cons of being in a butterfly house

When I was a child I was terrified of many things, like getting splinters, eating anything that might have a vegetable hidden in it, and coming in contact with any kind of insect ever. As a totally mature adult I've managed to establish an indifference to splinters and an appreciation for all vegetables (except for celery and usually tomatoes), but I don't think I'll ever be okay with having bugs on me and that's perfectly fine with me. This brings me to the question of butterflies. People talk about butterflies like they're not the same thing as an insect, just because they're pretty, like people will decorate their children with butterflies and never address the fact that they're basically just bald moths or praying mantises with wings, neither of which are things I'd expect to see on a baby hat or little girl's hairclip ("look honey I got you some more of those bald moth hairclips you love!" no? No.), but everyone pretends butterflies are fantastic, which is how I ended up in a butterfly house in Vienna, taking pictures of beautiful things that terrify me.

To be fair I had forgotten I was upset by butterflies until I got into the schmetterling haus and realized I was about to be surrounded by them. There were all these signs up reminding us to please not touch the butterflies (sure!) and all these tourists ignoring them and making their friends and family members pose with brightly coloured insects on their fingers like they were Disney princesses or something (my god, people, don't you realize what you're doing?). I was torn between taking pictures of all the pretty colours and fighting the urge to kill the ones that got too close, and then I discovered that the green dress I was wearing made me look like a gigantic hedge for them to perch on, and there were butterflies landing on my skirt and excited tourists running to me and picking them off as if I were some sort of butterfly tree. What a fantastic time that was. Wish I could post the pictures here but my phone doesn't like to cooperate with many upload sites, so you'll just have to take my word for it ( be my Facebook friend and relive the trauma with me).