Film Buffs

Have you ever watched a conversation between a film-buff and a non-film buff? It can be pretty painful. These sorts of conversations can creep up on you sometimes, though. Like maybe you're talking to someone and they ask you if you've seen The Hangover and you say you have and this makes them think you watch as many movies as they do and suddenly you're having a conversation about Philip Seymour Hoffman and you don't even know who that is.

Did you know that about 800 movies hit theatres last year? I watch maybe 15 films a year and these films range from sort-of alright, kind-of highbrow to...well, The Hangover. Generally if someone well-versed in the way of movies tries to talk to me, they realize the error of their ways within 15 minutes and try talking to me about books instead, and when that fails, they remember they have something to print out at the library and they make a hasty retreat. But then sometimes they're stuck in the car with me for seven hours and have no other option but to try to talk to me about films. Then the conversation goes like this:

Film-Buff: Have you seen American Psycho?
Me: Yes. It was pretty good.
FB: Have you seen Magnolia?
Me: No.
FB: Philip Seymour Hoffman was great in it.
Me: I don't know who that is.
FB: Well have you seen Flawless?
Me: No.
FB: He played Rusty. Have you seen The Talented Mr. Ripley?
Me: No.
FB: He played Freddie Miles. Have you seen Capote?
Me: No.
FB: He played Capote. Have you seen The Big Lebowski?
Me: Yes...
FB: He played that big guy.
Me: I don't remember him.
FB: The Big Lebowski was pretty good.
Me: Have you seen Ginger Snaps?
FB: No.
Me: It's a Canadian Werewolf movie.
FB: Oh.
Me: It's secretly my favourite movie. Except that's not actually secret because I talk about it all the time to everybody.
FB: Oh.
Me: And no one will watch it with me so I have to trick them into it, like how Franklin Graham tries to convert people to Christianity by telling them they're going to a concert and they get there and it's like "SURPRISE YOU'RE IN THE CRUSADES" except I just tell people the movie is about hot lesbian werewolves and then they watch it and it's like SURPRISE this movie is all about teenaged girls menstruating.
FB:...
Me: I think it's a great commentary on PMS.
FB: ...Uhm...Do you like the Coen Brothers?
Me: Who are they?
FB: They did The Big Lebowski.
Me: It was pretty good.
FB: They did True Grit
Me: Haven't seen it.
FB: They did Burn After Reading
Me: Oh I've heard of that one.
FB: I really loved the ending of that movie.
Me: Oh wait, this is probably a movie I want to see
FB: Especially the part when he suddenly realizes...
Me: oh dear, is this a surprise ending? I'll think about something else. I'll look out the window. Look at all that snow
FB:...and then his face when he...
Me: LALALALALA snow LALALA snow
FB: It was pretty great.
Me: It sounds good.
FB: Okay, well they also did O Brother Where Art Thou
Me: Um...I think I saw...half...of that...

This can go on for hours