Wednesday, April 13, 2011

This being the first poetry class I've taken, I don't have a 'system' for my end-of-term crunch time. For end-of-term essays, it's easy: self-medicate with a mixture of coffee (to wake me up), alcohol (to slow down my over-caffeinated mind), and chocolate (solid, liquid, or gas form will do*), and begin an inventoried list of the various types of dirty dishes piled around my desk. Take breaks from this list every 15 minutes to write an essay paragraph. It works!

Unfortunately, the closest I have to a poetry-creating 'system' is as follows:
1) look at the computer screen
2) make a mental list of all the half-finished poems in your word document
a poem about lentils
a poem about cupcakes
a poem about eggs
a poem about freezers
a poem about starting to write a poem and then losing it down the hot air vent
a poem about funerals
Wow. that's a lot of unfinished poems.
3) take a nap
4) go to the store for some chocolate. Get distracted by the popcorn aisle. Realize you need popcorn, too. Stand in awe of the sheer amount of varieties of flavours. Butter? Butter flavour? Buttery flavour? Natural flavour? Theatre-style Twice the Buttery Flavour? Kettle Corn? Reduced Fat Kettle Corn?
5) realize that all these popcorn flavours sound awful. Decide you'll make your own. Realize you can't remember if you already have popping corn at home. Buy the largest bag you can find, and some chocolate buttons that surely can't be overpriced because they are fair-trade.
6) get home. Discover the largest bag of unpopped popping corn known to man is sitting on the front counter. Hide your pathetic bag of popping corn behind collossal bag of popcorn. Spend a lot of time trying to decide how to spell colossal.
7) try to decide whether or not Dad gave the air-popper away.
8) search for the air-popper
9) he gave it away
10) pop popcorn on the stove, unassisted, for the first time in your life.
11) try to decide what to put on the popcorn. There is parmesan cheese, or steak spice, or black pepper in a fancy pepper grinder. You are a mass of indecision.
12) add a light sprinkling of salt to popcorn. Good enough.
13) take ginormous bowl of popcorn up to your room
14) look at your computer screen
and repeat.

Not the most effective system I can come up with.

*Do they make chocolate vapour? Just breathe in the chocolatey endorphines? Surely they must.

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