This is why I should never be left unattended

Actually, there are many reasons why I should never be left unattended, especially near bodies of water deep enough to submerge a body in, or near anything that effectively tampers with the natural pigmentation of hair, skin, or clothing. I still remember the day my cousin and I were out walking near the man-made lake by her house and how hard it was to explain my logic to her father after we returned half an hour later drenched in lake-water with our shoes full of mud. And then, after Spring Break '07, during which I locked myself in my dorm room for several days drawing multicoloured vines all over my body, my sister sent my roommate an email politely requesting that she never let me near permanent markers of any colour ever again.