Saturday, October 29, 2011

Rant: because electronics stores dealers are the best sources on petty crime

I've been on the hunt for a simpler way of recording cell phone conversations for a while now--not because I am a hardened criminal looking for new ways of trapping people into blackmail deals by recording their most incriminating intimate phone conversations, but in fact because I am a reporter, and conduct an average of 4 phone interviews a week, and I take the whole idea of accuracy pretty seriously, and damned if my speaker phone doesn't cut out on me half the time so I spend most of my time typing fiendishly to try to get all my interviewee's quotes down into a word document. And now I'll be doing twice as many articles, which means twice as many phone calls, and my poor fingers have had enough.


So, other than fairly expensive software apps that may or may not work on my 4-year-old Blackberry* or sketchtastic inner ear microphone implants that can be shipped to me for twice the cost of the actual product, there doesn't seem to be many options out there for me.  So I've been phoning around to electronics stores and asking them if they know of anything that can suit my needs. The conversation inevitably goes something like this.

Me: "Hello, do you have any sort of device for recording cellphone conversations?"
Them: "?"
Me: "I know some phones can do it but mine is fairly old so I'm hoping there might be some sort of magical mythical external plug-in of some sort."
Them: "?! :S"
Me: "I found this weird thing on Amazon but I'm too cheap to pay shipping and handling so I was hoping you might carry this fantastical item, this phone recorder."
Them: *awkward pause*"...You know that it is illegal to record cell phone conversations, right?"

Sigh. First of all, no, no it isn't. As long as one participant in the conversation knows it's being recorded, it is generally legal. Second of all, why would you immediately assume that I'm up to no good? I'm just looking for a recording device. Do you react to other customers this way?

Ficitonal Customer1: "Hi there, I'm looking for a video camera. What models do you carry?"
Them: "Are you aware that it is illegal to use your video camera to secretly record two people making love and then post it online?"
FC1: "...but I just want to film my child's birthday party."
Or,
FC2: "Hello, I would like to buy a new sound system."
Them: "Did you know that if you turn up your sound system loud enough your neighbours could file a noise complaint against you?"
FC2: "...well...yes...that's kind of the point."
Or maybe,
FC3: "I would like to buy a cellphone."
Them: "Did you know that it's illegal to use your cellphone to call in fictional bomb threats on your high school?"
FC3: "Well then what's the point? What else would I use a cell phone for?"
OR EVEN
FC4: "I want to buy a digital sound recorder, which I could in fact use to secretly record phone conversations if I put it on speaker phone, or in-person conversations if I kept it in my pocket or hid it somewhere surreptitiously and then left the room and oh think what glorious things I could do with those voice recordings, I could use them to RULE the WORLD! And luckily you carry several models of sound recorders, and every iPod made in the past 3 years is equipped with a sound recording device, and actually most devices nowadays can record sound to some extent, so I'm assuming you condone my practices."
Them: "...Did you know it is illegal to record someone without them knowing?"
*facepalm*

And then, when I tell them I'm a reporter, and reassure them that my interviewees know they are being recorded because I tell them so, they laugh it off like "oh yeah I mean of course it's none of my business what you do with this device! I wasn't trying to imply that you were going to use it for some sort of illegal activity. I just meant...well, you know. I just like giving strangers random and erroneous legal advice. Lol."

Alright. So maybe no one is selling cell phone recording devices because it is illegal to record a phone conversation (except that it isn't), even though most phones nowadays, including my brother's, make it so simple that you can do it entirely by accident**. But the thing is, I'm guessing at least 75% of the merchandise sold from Best Buy, Future Shop, Visions and the rest will eventually be used in some sort of illegal dealing, whether it's using your iPod to listen to pirated music or trading your 2,000-inch flatscreen TV on the black market in exchange for a 4-year-old child's kidney (that's the going price for a child's kidney, right? Maybe I should ask the guys at Best Buy).

So my question is, why can't they just stop worrying about what felonies I'm going to commit with this thing and just sell me one? Argh.


*Which I got for free from a friend and am very grateful for, otherwise I would still be stuck with my Sony Vivaz Pro 'phone' which is really useful as a tiny computer but incapable of actually placing or receiving phone calls 75% of the time.
**And accidentally recording a phone conversation would be illegal because then neither of you would know it was happening....hm...I see a lawsuit in the making.

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