Being in the wedding business, I feel that I am fully qualified to start planning out a few weddings of my own. I read in some wedding magazine in the staff bathroom that your wedding is supposed to be a true reflection of you and your intended's personalities. So, here are a few wedding ideas for the more creative spouses-to-be:
Option One: The Zombie Apocalypse Wedding
Tell your wedding guests that you'll be having an outdoor wedding in mid-October, due to your love of picturesque fall leaves and crisp autumn air. DO NOT tell them you arranged for your wedding to be right in the middle of Winnipeg's annual Zombie Walk. Just as you and your beloved are signing the registry, zombies will crawl out from the bushes and start mauling the audience. Terrified audience members will then discover that paintball guns have been taped to the bottoms of all their chairs. The wedding reception is spent in the midst of a post-apocalyptic nightmare. Just think of the photo-ops.
Option Two: The Un-Wedding
Alright, maybe you don't want to get married. Maybe you just want a big party held in your honour, where people buy you expensive gifts, you dictate the clothing options for 3 of your best friends and everyone makes speeches about how amazing you are. Then you throw flower bouquets and choice items of your underwear at the audience, and everybody cheers and gets into fistfights. Unfortunately, most guests will call it self-indulgent if your gaudy spectacle isn't somehow connected to the idea of legally binding yourself to your one true love. This is when you collaborate with a close friend to fake a wedding. Get through the ceremony, stage a big fight halfway through the first dance, call the whole thing off and get extra presents from sympathetic guests to mend your broken heart. Flip a coin to see who has to spend the rest of the evening sobbing beside the champagne fountain. Just think of the photo-ops!**
Option Three: The Decoy Wedding
Choose 20 of your closest friends. Invite them to the most awesome wedding imaginable. Choose 200 of the random people you'd have to invite to your wedding out of politeness, but have no interest in partying with and can't afford to feed anyway. Invite them to someone else's wedding, set for the day after yours. Disguise yourself and sneak into the audience to see how long it takes for your guests to figure it out. Hilarity ensues. Just think of the photo ops.
*Before you get all excited, no, I am not getting married. But I do have quite a few engaged and soon-to-be-engaged acquaintances for me to inflict my Wedding Ideas upon.
**Apparently a friend of a friend of a friend of a cousin of mine actually did stage an un-wedding, minus the mid-reception fight. Sources say it was a beautiful affair celebrating the essence of love and romance. True story.
Hi Friends,
ReplyDeleteThis is really interesting take on the concept. Wedding ideas are fast becoming something that is more of a competition than a time where a bride and groom sit down together and plan their own idea of a perfect day. Thanks a lot for sharing with us...
Did you just get a spam comment?
ReplyDeleteA teen magazine once recommended wedding crashing as a good activity for a boring Saturday afternoon.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I get the urge to throw an expensive, elaborate, themed party... like a wedding, but without the wedding.
Nah, I'm pretty sure Ms. Wedding Halls is a long-time reader of my blog who just wants to make friends with us by discussing relevant wedding-related topics.
ReplyDeleteI'm still trying to sort out how to crash a wedding when all of the guest names are written out on their place settings. I even watched Wedding Crashers as research, but they skip over that crucial plot point.