During that short phase last week when I was convinced someone was going to kill me (see previous post), I had the idea to get my mind off things by resorting to the age-old tactic of surfing Plenty of Fish for the most impressive attractive personality combo pic, aka something that I until recently referred to as the Seduction Trifecta.
Last time I was on PoF, back when I was helping my other single friends to review profiles of potential dates (and definitely not on there because I had heard a certain friend of mine was posting photos of himself in various superhero outfits and I had to investigate), the most popular male profile photos* were: the shirtless photo, a photo of said guy holding a kitten, puppy, or other furry animal, said guy standing in front of a shiny vehicle, or said guy standing in front of a mountain. Thus, the not-so-aptly named Seduction Trifecta** was a photo of a shirtless guy holding a small fluffy mammal standing in front of a shiny vehicle on a mountain. I came across three such photos when I was on the site; the winner was in fact doing bicep curls with two kittens, standing in front of a Kawasaki somewhere in the Rockies.
But times have changed! It would appear that the new trend requires men to wear some sort of uniform and pose with a small cuddly child instead (bonus points for each additional child under the age of 6 in the shot). An alternative trend is men holding cuddly animals whilst drinking beer; shirt optional. Intriguingly enough, to combine these photos would not create a photo of attractive perfection, but instead a very disturbing image of a guy shirtless guy holding a child, a kitten, and a bottle of beer, wearing the pants from a fire-fighter's uniform. There are just too many things wrong with this picture to make it in any way attractive:
-shirtless man holding child: creepy! Whose child is that? Do they know you're having skin-to-skin contact with their infant?
-a firefighter drinking beer (isn't that illegal?)
-a man holding a child while drinking beer (that just screams of irresponsibility)
-a shirtless firefighter holding a kitten...alright, so there's something there. But the pros are strongly outweighed by the cons in that arrangement.
Tune in next week to find out how effective a woman's PoF profile becomes when she adds a story about a bison to her 'About Me' column!
*I mean, the sorts of photos you post to prove that you're an awesome person and whoever is reading your profile must have you, not the sort of photo you post because the internet demands a photo and so it's just you sitting at your computer holding a diet coke and wearing last week's pajamas
*not-so-aptly named because there were, in fact, 4 criteria to fill
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