Failures in Communication

English 4000-Level Courses, the website said. Below it was a list of four courses. ENGL 4102: Topics in Young People’s Texts and Cultures—Ecocritical and Zoocritical Approaches.
ENGL 4103: Topics in Young People’s Texts and Cultures—The Child and the City


I read the descriptions of both courses. Both were interesting. I could take Ecocriticism in the first semester and The Child and the City in the second. There we go, my 4000-level requirement for the year was taken care of. Now I just needed to get my Honours Form filled out so I could register for it.

I went to the English Department and talked to the assistant, Kelly:
Amy: Hi, I need one of those Honours Course forms
Kelly: Are you an Honours student?
Amy: Yes.
Kelly: Then you’ll need the white one. Here you go!

I took it to Professor Gray, the academic advisor for the day
Amy: Would you mind signing this form for me? It’s for registration for Honours courses.
Prof: Absolutely. There you are.

Registered for the courses.
ERROR: You do not have permission to register for ENGL 4103. Please fill out an Honours Form and hand it in to the department for processing.

Interesting. Clearly the first half of the form had gone through. Why could I register for 4102 but not 4103? I emailed them. Within hours, I received a message:

Hi Amy! I have made sure that you have permission to register for your 4163 course. Sorry about the confusion! Let me know if you have any further questions!

Chris.

I could see already that there was going to be a problem, and was unsurprised when I still could not register for the course.

Message to Chris:
Hi Chris,
I’m still having trouble registering. I see in your email that you say I am registered for 4163; the number is actually 4103. Maybe that is where the problem lies. Would you mind trying to put me in the system again?

Message Amy:
Hi Amy,
That’s weird, I definitely put you in the system for the course. I’ve tried again. If u still can’t figure it out, maybe you should let me register for you.

Chris

It worked, and for a whole 3 hours I was registered in ENGL 4103. Then:

Message Amy:

Dear Amy,
I see that you have registered in both 4102 and 4103. These are the same course. Please remove your registration from one of these courses immediately; you are taking someone else’s spot.

Melissa

Message Melissa:
Hi Melissa,
Sorry about that. I see that ENGL 4102 is about Ecocriticism and ENGL 4103 is about The Child and the City. I assumed they were different courses. If they are in fact the same, I can drop one.
Thank you,
Amy

Message to Amy:

Dear Amy,
You are registered in the same course twice. Please drop one of these courses immediately.
Thank you,
Melissa


With my plan gone awry, it took me until the end of November to decide which course to take instead of 4103. I finally picked 4432: Gertrude Stein. I would need an Honours Permission Form. I went to the English Department.

Amy: Hi there, I need a permission form to register for an Honours course.
Kelly: A what?
Amy: A permission form to register for an Honours course?
Kelly: Are you not an Honours student?
Amy: Yes I am, but I still need the form.
Kelly: Are you sure? We don’t have any form for that.
Amy: Really? I filled one out in August. I had a professor sign it. I remember handing it in to you.
Kelly: hmm...I don’t know...let’s see...there’s this yellow one...
Amy: I think that’s for non-Honours students.
Kelly: There is no form for Honours students. Because they’re Honours students. They don’t need permission.
Amy: Are you sure? I’m so sure I needed one in August.
Kelly: oh, here’s a form! Is this the one you need?
Amy: Excellent! that is exactly the form. Thank you very much.

I took it to the Honours Chair.

Amy: Hi there, I have an Honours Permission form. Would you be able to sign it?
H.C.: A what?
Amy: A permission form for Honours courses.
H.C.: But you’re already an Honours student.
Amy: Yes, but I need to have registration cleared for each Honours Course before I can register for it.
H.C.: Are you sure?
Amy: I needed it this summer. I know because I had a lot of problems when one of the numbers was written down wrong.
H.C.: looks at form I’ve never seen this form before in my life. I’ve been the Honours chair since the summer. You’d think I would have signed one of these by now.
Amy: All I know is that I couldn’t register for the course yesterday because I didn’t have permission.
H.C.: Well, I’ll sign it. But go tell the registration office that you don’t need this form.

I went to the registration desk

Amy: Hi there, I’d like to register for this Honours course.
Carmandie: Which course?
Amy: 4432
Carmandie: You need permission for that.
Amy: I have it right here.
Carmandie: Okay.
Amy: Hey, would you be able to verify something for me? I’m pretty sure I’ve needed this form for ever Honours course I took, but the Honours chair says I didn’t need to get permission since I’m an Honours student already.
Carmandie: Are you an Honours student?
Amy: Yes I am.
Carmandie: Well you need the form so you can register for courses. You see, every time you want to register for an Honours course you need to fill out the form, even if you are an Honours student. The Honours forms are white, non-Honours are yellow. Do you need a form?
Amy: I have the form. I was just wondering, because the Chair said she’s been Chair since this summer and she’s never seen one of these forms before. She said I didn’t need it—
Carmandie: Well you need the form so you can register for courses. You see, every time you want to register for an Honours course you need to fill out the form. You need to put down the course number for each course you want to register for, and then you need to have the Chair sign it.
Amy: Oh, okay. I was just confused because neither the English Department nor the Chair knew what I was talking about and—
Carmandie: Look, every time you want to register for an Honours course, you need to fill out the form. Then you need the Honours Chair to sign it. I can get you the form if you want, or it’s available to you in the English department office.
Amy: Oh, I have the form actually. I just wasn’t sure if I needed it because the Chair told me I didn’t.
Carmandie: You need the form.
Amy: Oh, alright.
Carmandie: Also, registration for 4432 is closed now. You can talk to the professor about it, but you really need to have the registration form signed.
Amy: Thank you.

Conversation with one of my professors:

Amy:...and then they told me that they were the exact same course, so I tried to register for a different one instead but I left it too long and they’re closed now.
Prof: Ecocriticism and Child and the City are two different courses.
Amy: Really? I was told they were the same. They told me to drop one of them immediately.
Professor sighs profoundly: They’re very different courses. It says so right in the descriptions.

Conclusion: I have absolutely no idea what is going on in this place, but neither does anyone else.