The Constant Disappointments of Bus Culture

You know those hilarious short stories, creative non-fiction, and stand-up comedy routines that all centre around the bizarre assortment of people who ride the bus?* There are two types of hilarious bus stories: there's the kind that actually involve bizarre situations (the "...and then this crack addict dressed as a dinosaur climbed on the bus and started handing out pretzels to everyone who would sing the star spangled banner with him"), and the kind that were written by people who clearly haven't spent enough time interacting with the world around them and think having sit next to a stranger is An Event (you know, "oh man the bus was so crazy today! this guy sat down next to me and he was just so...fat...and then, he like, tried to talk to me. it was so weird, he asked me for the time. and stuff. what the hell?").

Just so's we're clear, I'm talking about the first type of story. I'm not really interested in the "I don't know what real people are like and was never informed that I would actually have to interact with one of them" type. I thought I should clarify, since I'm about to start complaining in earnest.