My Ongoing Feud with Groupon

Looking for a cheap pedicure? Maybe a rub-on tan? Have you ever wished you could have a trained professional use a tiny laser to zap the life out of every single one of your hair follicles, for 10% the going rate? How about paying someone half their usual fee to inject a permanent ink design into your skin? Then Groupon is the place for you.


My issues with Groupon are twofold: fold number one--if I'm going to be getting a professional to perform any sort of permanent, dangerous procedure on me--anything that involves lasers, needles, or knives, let's say--damned if I'm going to ask them for a discount. If I'm trusting them with my safety, I will be paying them whatever fee they would like to charge me. I am scared for the safety of anyone who thinks buying a coupon for 90% off an electrolysis session is a good idea. But this issue pales in comparison with my second issue with Groupon, which is:

What do their ad-photos have to do with the services they actually offer?
Take today's facebook findings: Groupon's adspace is taken up by,

#1 a woman petting a housecat the size of an Alsatian, with the caption "do 5 new things in Winnipeg every day!", and
#2: a photo of what appears to be a whale-shaped fibreglass submarine floating on a lake.

And yet, every time I click on these exciting photos, expecting to be taken to a Groupon for 75% off at the Housecats of Unusual Size Emporium, or $50 for a trip around lake Winnipeg in Wilfred the Wonder Whale, all I get is an offer for a manicure and 2-for-1 wristwatches. Why, Facebook? Why, Groupon? Why have you teamed up to plague me so?