Jane Austen's Guide to Marrying a Millionaire: 18th Century Values for a 21st Century World

After a short conversation with a friend of mine where we exchanged a combo of Pride and Prejudice quotes and dating advice, I realized that a Jane Austen dating guide post was long overdue*. I am sure those of you who did not grow up on the BBC's P&P mini-series and who do NOT collapse in a fit of giggles if someone says 'All the Officers!' will find this guide especially helpful, because I can only assume you will take it even more seriously. And so, without further ado, I bring you

I'm alive, but my cellphone doesn't work...so is it a good day or not?

When I'm feeling negative, I like to set up a list of pros and cons of the week to help me realize that my life probably isn't so bad. Actually, this is a lie. I don't do pro-and-con lists unless I'm strapped for things to blog about, so this list is for all you lovely viewers. Hope it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

day whitaout pen

No, the title of this post is not proof that I am a) drunk, b) finally taking a stand against the proof-reading police or c) giving up on the English language entirely. Apparently, "day whitaout pen" is one of the key searchterms people use to find my blog (and thanks to this post, the next time you're doing a google search for a day whitaout pen, my blog is twice as likely to pop up. You're welcome.).

I hadn't checked up on my blogging stats in a while, and I was delighted to find that my top search keywords now include:

-cat is hacking and breathe smells like fish
-is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for
-crumb genitalia
and, most importantly,
-natalie pollock's boobs.

"disturbing post" was also in there, but that's to be expected.

Spinsterhood: the nature vs nurture debate

I think my brother moved out on Friday. One can never be sure of these things; he could just be on an extended sleepover/roadtrip/crime spree with his friends. He didn't exactly say goodbye to me; the only indication that he had possibly moved out was a facebook status update detailing the list of items he was packing (throwing knives, bowie knives, halbards, machetes, video games, no clothes).

Then his tricorner hat mysteriously disappeared from its place on the hallway nule post, which is always a good indication that he's vacated the premises, at least temporarily.

My Neighbourhood Drug War and the danger of West End streets

A little bit ago, one of the more notorious houses on my street had a bit of a drive-by shooting. Just a bit of one, mind you; no one died, and my motto has always been "I'm not worried unless death is involved," so when a news crew showed up on my doorstep and wanted to talk to me about violence in the West End I responded with nonchalance bordering on naivety.

I maintained that I had lived in the area for about 18 years and I had never feared for my safety, went on a monologue about how nice it is to live here, and encouraged viewers to come on down and tour the neighbourhood.